Below are the discussion questions prepared by our volunteer facilitator, Steve Band, for the IMC-Lewes Dharma Study Group on Monday, August 17, 2026. These questions cover Appendix 4 – The Suffering of Ambivalence and Ambiguity from Dancing With Life: Buddhist Insights for Finding Meaning and Joy in the Face of Suffering by Phillip Moffitt.

This page has been formatted for printing and use during the discussion. You can print this post (and save it as a PDF if you wish), or download the original PDF.

As a psychologist, I have long been interested in Buddhist influence on Western psychology and psychotherapy. In Appendix 4, Moffitt attempts to demonstrate how to understand and manage the “mind states” of ambivalence and ambiguity from a Buddhist perspective, through the use of mindfulness and insight. While I do not agree with every statement he makes, I believe that his overall presentation makes sense. Let’s now take a look at ambivalence and ambiguity from a Buddhist perspective.

Moffitt notes (pgs. 303-304) that, “The aim of Buddhist insight practices is to liberate the mind from the ego’s constant clinging to what it desires.” “These same Buddhist insight practices that lead to a liberated mind also foster psychological development.”

1. What is your reaction to these statements? Has this been true for you? Has your practice fostered improved adaptability? Resilience? Confidence? General psychological growth?

According to Moffitt (pgs. 305-306) ambivalence and ambiguity are “not often worked with directly as mind states themselves in psychotherapy.” While this is not true (they are worked with directly in therapy), Moffitt makes a correct and clear distinction between ambivalence and ambiguity. While some of the same mindfulness and insight strategies can be used with both of them, he clarifies that it is important for a person to be able to identify which one is causing their suffering. Moffitt further distinguishes between ordinary and debilitating ambivalence and ambiguity, and he writes that these mind states can relate to the past, the present, or the future.

Ordinary ambivalence is “ordinary.” Moffit also states (p.307) that most people suffer from debilitating ambivalence and ambiguity at some point in their lives. Debilitating ambivalence and ambiguity can be problems themselves, and they can lead to ongoing psychological distress. What is the difference between ambivalence and ambiguity? Ambivalence is “having two minds,” indecisiveness, second guessing, while ambiguity is lacking clarity about something. Ambiguity can be about one’s values/goals or about a situation.

2. How do you understand ambivalence from a Buddhist perspective?
3. How do you understand ambiguity from a Buddhist perspective?

On page 313, Moffitt says that when you are experiencing debilitating ambivalence, “You are caught in the hindrances to such a degree that your mind isn’t unified and you’ve taken birth in your ambivalence, meaning you’ve become so identified with your ambivalence that it is defining your life.”

4. What is your response to this statement? Does this resonate with you? How does debilitating ambivalence relate to the hindrances (sensual desire, ill will, sloth and torpor, restlessness and worry, skeptical doubt)?
5. On page 315, Moffitt says that one method to manage ambivalence is to remind yourself that it has come about because of karma. What is your reaction to that statement? Does this help you when dealing with ambivalence?
6. Moffitt says that the Buddhist approach to managing debilitating ambivalence is not to eliminate it, but to recognize that it is a mind state that is present. Once you bring your awareness, recognition, and intention to debilitating ambivalence, you can:
   • Examine its effect on you and others
   • Investigate the mind state of ambivalence. Ask yourself if your ambivalence is a message for you or if there is something you don’t want to face.
   • Remind yourself that it comes about because of karma. “The seed of ambivalence was planted earlier, and now conditions are right for the seed to blossom.”
   • Remember that, like all mind states, it arises and passes
   • Tell yourself, “Ambivalence is like this.”
   • Remember not to judge yourself and bring compassion to yourself and others
   • Bring to mind areas of your life where you do not suffer from debilitating ambivalence.
   • Remind yourself of the Four Noble Truths or the Noble Eightfold Path

Which of these actions resonate with you? Which have you tried to use to manage your ambivalence? Has it worked? Which can you see yourself using in the future? Would anyone like to share personal experience?

According to Moffitt (p.317), ambiguity is caused by uncertainty, confusion, and doubt. It is “the inability to comprehend and is the result of lacking clarity regarding your values and priorities.” “I don’t know what I think, I don’t know what matters, I don’t know where to begin…” I don’t know

Actually, ambiguity can be viewed as coming in two types, ambiguity about something over which I can exert some control, and ambiguity over a situation where I have very little ability to exert control.

7. Ambiguity relating to an existential view of life, or a lack of clarity about your own goals and values. Refer to #6 above. Which of those actions/skills resonate with you? Which have you tried to use to manage your ambiguity or which could you use? Would anyone like to share personal experience?

Ambiguity in a situation external to you. Sometimes it is learning how to manage your own response to an ambiguous situation.

8. What is the role of curiosity when trying to manage your response to an ambiguous situation? Have you used curiosity to help you manage your response to an ambiguous situation?

Moffitt tells us that when our mind is no longer defined or controlled by ambivalence and ambiguity, a feeling of joy arises, and we recognize ambivalence and ambiguity for what they are, temporary mind states that arise due to conditions and passing when conditions change.

9. What is your reaction to this statement, and how might you work with this in your practice and your life?